Learning to let go

Hello mavromatim

Thank you for your question. There are a few approaches to your situation. The one that I would think is most yoga-like and useful is to find a way essentially to redirect your mind to be busy doing things that serve you. At the moment it’s busy with thoughts that are not serving you!

For the purposes of our discussion it doesn’t matter what those thoughts are or why, but rather that they are there. And, interestingly, until recently you managed to keep them at bay! So what’s changed?

Well, it’s possible that you’re needing more distinctions for your practice in order to occupy your conscious and unconscious mind. There is a neurological need for your mind to have something purposeful to focus on. (Otherwise it could get busy … well, you get the picture!)

May I ask you if what you focus on during class?

Are you attending class at a script-recital class where the same thing is being said every day? It’s possible that you’re now anticipating what’s to be said and it’s creating an auto-pilot situation.

May I ask you if you receive my newsletters? They have lots of specific tips in them. Lots of them are pose-specific. Lots of them are lifestyle related. And then there are many that are concerned with being in the room itself. So I do suggest that you take what you read there and use those ideas and tips and techniques as a point of focus.

It’s a good idea to take one or two things from those hints and tips and use them. Choosing too many things can overwhelm a person and then they abandon everything.

You’ve probably also often heard to focus on your breath.

It’s a yoga 101 thang! It’s actually incredibly difficult to do. Because as a rule, we don’t mindfully breathe. We tend to let the automatic function take over (and you should be grateful for that of course). So when you’re in class, it’s possible at the moment that you pay attention to your breath from time to time. It does help to try in an intentioned way. You won’t be successful 100% of the time. The best yogis are not. Most would be successful a TINY percent of the time (maybe only 1%). The irony of it is, that it is in the moment that you realise that you have not been paying attention to the breath, that you are actually paying attention to the breath. You can enjoy that with an inward giggle (!) rather than berate yourself especially knowing that everyone else is having the same problem.

I also notice that you could be pushing yourself too much (because of your word choice). If you can always remember that the first thing in your practice is to breathe smoothly and as deeply as the pose you’re in allows. Then the next priority is to go for best alignment. My newsletters, this forum and my other resources will greatly assist with all of that! If you follow what everyone else is doing and you try to emulate the depth that perhaps a flexible and experienced yogi is at who could be in front of you, you will probably find that you’re not paying enough attention to your own body. Sure, others can be a guide to what you could look like, but your perspective will probably mean you are not seeing the things that they could be doing wrongly. To try to get the depth of a pose to match somebody else’s when you’re not ready for it, means you will most definitely cause a collapse of your own pose, and possibly even cause yourself damage. The loss of alignment will make it a less satisfying experience.

Maybe some of these things are resonating for you. Do tell.

The pushing of oneself in a the yoga is often touted as the most important thing by bikram or hot yoga teachers. However you must at all times listen to your own body and go back to solid alignment principles before going deep into a pose while sacrificing alignment. For example if you listen to the dialog for PadaHastasana (Hands to Feet pose) they will say “lock the knees, lock the knees, lock the knees”. If your body is not ready for that then your chest will come away from the legs with a slight to large space there, and the benefits of the pose will be lost. Maybe the self-talk could be about how hard stuff is as an unconscious realisation that something is wrong because the body is not working the way it ought to. Same thing too for Standing Head to Knee. A common problem with the dialog is that it encourages people to kick out who have no business kicking out because they haven’t got the first part handled sufficiently well.

Let me know how all that feels when you read that and we’ll see where it takes us!

Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂

Hi again

You are indeed luckier than most that your instructor doesn’t say the same thing every single day. That will help you keep your mind on your practice and your breath… without going into auto-pilot. The mind loves to be surprised and this is why I am suggesting you explore the resources I suggested: the newsletters … and you can use the forum, the blogs, my manual etc.

I am very pleased that you have found some success so quickly with that technique and your improved focus!

Your task is a big one. It’s one that we all have. It’s one that will probably have no end to it where you will learn and benefit from every time you practise it, and especially if you have a consistent practice.

On that note, I will point out that while the practice will improve your breathing, if there are times of no yoga (ie no mindful breathing) you may find your progress will take a backward step. So just keep up some kind of regular practice. You mentioned you’ve been going almost every day. You will probably settle into a less intense schedule and great progress will still be yours even with 2-3 times per week. The more you go, especially at the beginning, the greater obvious gains you’ll make.

The ‘dialog’ that I referred to is the strict script that most hot yoga and Bikram instructors use. It’s an antiquated technique of learning something and really is too simplistic for such a hugely nuanced subject such as yoga. There is no one-size-fits-all way to teach every body in the room. Memorising is great for learning your alphabet and your multiplication tables though. If you have a teacher who is not using a script then that can mean they have more of their conscious awareness to connect with their students. You should be safer with a teacher who can teach without a script as they have more time in their heads to really respond to what’s going on in the room.

Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂