Anxiety and panic after class- healing crisis?

[namaste73]

#2618

I have been practising Bikram (but intermittently) for over a year (3 times per week). Recently I have been under extreme stress and decided to commit to a daily practice. I’m only on day three but each day I have cried in class, felt overwhelmed by the heat, and today feelings of anxiety and panic and feeling ungrounded also occurred after class. I was so tired and on edge I had to go to sleep after class.

I have a history of anxiety and depression and wanted to try and address this and my fear of relapse through a daily practice. I have read so many positive things about Bikram helping people like me but I am quite scared today and feel very panicked.

I had major surgery a few years back after suffering from severe ulcerative colitis. The surgery was complicated and the recovery was exceptionally hard. The surgery removed all of my large colon and I now have an ileo-anal internal pouch so I don’t know if this could be am issue? The heat and dehydration causing additional stress in class? Should I be taking additional electrolytes. I do take an electrolyte mix in my water bottle already.

I would really be grateful of any advice and/or success stories of Bikram practice overcoming anxiety/depression. I want to keep going but am scared it will make me worse. I’m hoping this is some kind of ‘healing crisis’ and that things will improve and my quality of life will improve by continuing with Bikram.

Any advice would be very very appreciated.

[namaste73]

#10886

Any help and advice would be very greatly appreciated 🙂

[mzsocialworker1]

#10887

I feel like this sometimes. I think if I’m not fully engaged in the breathing, am super tired and have some stress from that day this happens. I also noticed it happens more if I attend a nighttime class probably because of the reasons mentioned. I advice you to keep going and just take it easy in class. Even if you just sit out for a lot of the postures and focus on your breath.

[namaste73]

#10888

Thanks so much for your reply mzsocialworker1. I am going to try and go back to class tomorrow but am extremely anxious even thinking about it. Fingers crossed and thank you 🙂

[Gabrielle (The Hot Yoga Doctor)]

#10889

Hi Denise

I was away a couple of days. May I ask you about your previous practice first? When you went 3 times per week did you ever feel the same way you do right now? How frequent was the practice? Was it ever 2 days or 3 days in a row? Or did you happen to always have at least a day off between classes?

With your bowel resection, are you aware of any added hydration issues you might have been made aware of because of removing such a large section of your intestines?

Are you continuing to practise at the same studio? Have there been any changes to the heating system or the way they heat the studio?

When you practised 3 times per week did you feel calm and relatively stress-free? In other words: Before the new extremely stressful conditions please confirm if you felt fine and were practising 3 times per week. Please confirm if now you were stressed the moment you started to practise daily. So did you start to feel fragile and overwhelmed by the heat on the very first class? Or did you feel this way on the second class?

I hope you can sort these answers through because it is important to work out what variables are causing you to feel this way. I want to help you unravel this.

As Allison suggests it could have something to do with breathing, your stress and tiredness. If that’s the case, it will be easy to fix. We can help you put your attention where it counts (if you need any tips of course! 😉 ). It may be a more physiological issue to do with your body’s ability to process heat and stress (thank you for the electrolyte info).

I shall look out for your response

Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂

[namaste73]

#10891

Thanks so much for replying Gabrielle,

Previously I tried to get to class three times per week but at times of really bad anxiety it went down to two. When I first started practising I found it overwhelming but it has got better although sometimes the heat seems too much (but afterwards I always felt the benefits and more grounded). I have never done three classes in a row. I was so desperate to kick this anxiety I wanted to go every day and my teacher encouraged this and has been very supportive. Previously I had at least one day off between classes.

With the bowel resection, I know I have to drink more than other people and try to do this (sometimes I forget) and recently started to add electrolytes to my water. I was also diagnosed with adrenal fatigue last year and am seeing a herbalist who is helping with that. However, I did previously feel that Bikram practice was helping with the terrible anxiety and I so wanted to keep with the practice and finally sort this out and get stronger.

I am practising in the same studio and there is no change in the heat so I don’t think that can be it. When I practised 3 times a week I was never calm as such but the practice did make me feel calm afterwards and that was brilliant. Like a relief from all the constant stress and worry but after practising 3 days in a row it’s like something has shifted and the anxiety is heightened. I know sometimes things can get worse before better but I’m worried that it becomes too overwhelming and I shut down or get ill. To be honest the first two days on the daily practice were emotional but fine but the third day after sobbing in class and feeling like the heat was too much the anxiety didn’t go away after class and I have been exhausted ever since. I was so disappointed as I felt I’d failed. Many people in my studio are doing the 30 day challenge and I quietly wanted to do this for myself…I thought it would finally sort out all this stress and deep rooted fear I’ve carried around for years. I really wanted to practice and become stronger in myself and feel more in control of my life and future.

I have done so much research into how Bikram yoga has changed peoples lives and helped them finally conquer anxiety and depression but now I am so scared to return to class. I am determined to try and go today and hope that it goes well but to be honest I am quite scared.

I think you are right in that my body is bad at processing stress and tiredness but it seems to be a vicious circle as initially the Bikram practice gave me relief from this. I don’t know if this is something I just need to work through and hopefully come out better the other side? I have had a lot of stress and loss in my life that I’ve bottled up for years and I just really now want to stop being afraid and fearful and start trying to find a more joyful way of living.

Thank you so much for your support
Namaste x

[Gabrielle (The Hot Yoga Doctor)]

#10893

Hello Denise

One possibility to consider: Just because the place is heated the way it always has been doesn’t mean we can assume that the heat is not too high.

What this means is that you (and maybe others, and without more information I would not be able to ascertain that) may indeed have issues of heat exhaustion. Up until now going with intervening days means that your mild heat exhaustion has had just enough time to bring you to a point where you can cope. Now that you’re going every day your body is not coping.

How long have you had signs of adrenal exhaustion? Ahh, I see in your answer. You’ve been practising just over a year and you were diagnosed with adrenal exhaustion last year.

If my hunch is correct you may have chronic heat exhaustion. While going 2-3 times a week was fine because you had days to recover in between your classes, going every day is physiologically too much. Add to that your heightened mental stress (to existing physical stress) and you have what has become an untenable situation.

I could ask you about other students in your class: Eg, are you the only one having difficulty getting through an entire class? Do others have to stop frequently in class? There could be a few students here and there dotted around the studio who take rests or a number taking breaks to drink rather than a quiet, focused, distraction free class. The other thing that is very common is having a room where the studio says it is heated to 105 degrees but there is no evidence that that is the temperature. Describe perhaps what you know of the heating system.

Do you avoid salt in your food? I know you put electrolytes in your water. Is that the water you drink during yoga? When else do you take electrolytes?

That’s enough to continue with! 😉

Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂

[namaste73]

#10896

Hi Gabrielle,

Thanks again for your reply 🙂

A few people in class sit out but it’s rare and I definitely sit out the most. Today I managed class but I could only do one of the sets of each. I struggled but did feel so much better for going and calmer afterwards…even slightly positive, which is rare for me these days. My teacher thinks that I had issues and several layers of emotional stuff to sort through and that may be why I broke down in classes before. I would agree with that but I’m not sure why this would make me feel so exhausted for a whole day afterwards. I do tend to become most emotional after camel and also find rabbit pose very difficult (I feel claustrophobic and panicked). I do really like tree and toe pose though and look forward to them. Sometimes though, more often than not, I don’t know how I am going to manage to get through the 90mins…but afterwards I usually (apart from recently) feel far calmer and better.

The adrenal fatigue was diagnosed last year and it was after another period of stress at work. It seems that my body (particularly after many stressful situations in life followed by a long period of ulcerative colitis and major surgery), just goes under if I get tired or have too much stress. This is incredibly limiting and frustrating as I feel I can’t do what a ‘normal’ person would be able to. It limits me in my work and every aspect of life. I had hoped that practising Bikram would stop the cycle of events and stop the stress trigger. When I am overwhelmed severe anxiety, rumination, worry and excessive thinking (intrusive thoughts) etc kick in and become almost unmanageable. I have been reassured that this is a sign of adrenal fatigue but it makes me feel like I am going mad! I talk to a lot of other students after class and no-one seems to have the exhaustion I have, in fact there are lots of people doing the 30 challenge right now (classes are more crowded than usual so maybe this is part of it too), or even practising daily or even twice a day!.

I think maybe having no large intestine may be a problem. I definitely don’t absorb vitamins and minerals to their full extent, although my levels have been checked and my doctor says they are fine I personally feel that I am not getting enough. Medically the doctors don’t offer any further advice and I’m at a loss at how to counter balance it all.

I take an electrolyte supplement only in my one litre water bottle in yoga class.I sip it in class and afterwards. It is just a 5ml liquid supplement (called ‘elete’ electrolyte add in). I think I can safely say, after considering it, that I am not hydrating myself enough. I’m not sure just how much I should be drinking but more than the average person and probably being in the hot room would increase the need even more? And I’m not sure if I should add electrolytes to all my water etc. I don’t drink anything other than water and herbal teas.I also take salt in my food (the hospital advised me to but never offered advice on supplementation, but just normal table salt.

I hope that covers everything and again many many thanks for taking the time to help me with this. I very much appreciate it and just want to get stronger and kick this once and for all. Thank you Gabrielle,
Namaste
D 🙂

[Gabrielle (The Hot Yoga Doctor)]

#10906

Hello Denise

Thank you for all the details.

Simple stuff first: Yes, do take more electrolytes. Sea salt is far, far better than table salt. It has the sodium and the chloride ions but it has other things that will give to the body too. You can get rid of table salt and enjoy different sea salts that have different qualities and tastes.

I am not sure what you have to do to ensure that you are absorbing vitamins that would normally and largely be absorbed by the colon. Google will help and I will also investigate too when I have a mo. I would follow your intuition on this one where you say you think you are not getting enough of your vits and mins.

So now I would like you to consider this:

The body doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined stress; physical and emotional stress; work and yoga stress!

In other words, you experience stress in your life. You go to yoga and hope that you will reduce your stress. This of course can and does happen. However, I believe (and yes, I could be wrong) that there is something happening in your environment that makes your yoga more stressful than it should or could be.

It could be that your life stresses combined with the high temperatures in the room many times per week tip the balance for you. It is possible that the adrenal fatigue is a result of the life stresses that you have, including the physiological stresses of your inner body, combined with the heat load. The temperature could be 105 Fahrenheit and higher – Are you able to confirm if anybody can actually prove what temperature and humidity conditions are in the room AT ANY MOMENT? Don’t settle for “we heat it to 105”. It must be easy to show you.

In other words, your body is not distinguishing between good yoga stress and ‘bad’ life stresses.

All this anxiety could be reflected in your ability to breathe and the tensions you hold in your body. You are feeling panicked in Rabbit pose (for example). My guess is that here it is not just about breathing (but it could be). My guess is that you intuitively feel somehow unsafe in this pose and your body is reacting by tensing up. This is not a tense pose and I do believe we should look into this together (or if you happen to have my book, that will explain it with photos).

Many, many people become emotional after camel. The vulnerability that one feels in a back bend can be huge. There are ways to minimise the stresses you feel in such poses.

Are you able to indicate in any way how well you believe you breathe during class and in normal every day life.

What about your practice? You see, when someone asks me a question I cannot make the assumption that their practice is optimum. There could be basic principles that you may not have incorporated into your practice that could be the key to your path.

Let’s see how we go with this post (and my umpteen questions)

See you back here
Namaste
Gabrielle 🙂

[namaste73]

#10909

Hi Gabrielle,

Thanks again for taking the time to reply, I very much appreciate it, and apologies for not replying sooner but I have been away.

I bought myself some Himalayan pink sea salt today and have started to use that instead of table salt on my food. I’m hoping it will do me lots of good :-). I thought maybe I would also try to start taking smoothies lots more and also invested in a multi vitamin spray and B12 mouth spray as I was told recently by my acupuncturist that these would be more easily absorbed.

What you said about real and imagined stress was really interesting, and also that something in my environment could be making my yoga more stressful. There are a few things really, primarily I’m just coming out of a 4 yr relationship which is still ending acrimoniously and I am somewhat lost and trying to rebuild my life from scratch again but luckily I have a very supportive family etc. However the sense of loss is tremendous particularly as we were about to start a family. Secondly, I wondered if the medication I am on may be contributing. I am on a very low dose on antidepressant. I initially was advised to take them in my early twenties after suffering a terrible bereavement( I believe this was a very bad judgement on my doctors part). I am now in my early 40s and have tried to get off them consistently since then but have only succeeded so far in getting to a minimal dose. I don’t know if this information is relevant?

The hot room certainly seems to trigger deep emotion and also facing oneself in those mirrors is often not easy. I don’t know what the exact temp of the room is though but I can try and find out and ask one of the teachers tomorrow.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head though when you say that my body is not distinguishing between good yoga stress and ‘bad’ life stresses. I’m trying to do some pranayama breathing at home and started to do alternate nostril breathing in the evening. I do feel often even in the first breathing asanas in class, that I cannot breath as deeply as I think I should. I think rabbit pose is especially difficult as I feel so claustrophobic and it is very true that my body does tense up. I don’t have your book as of yet Gabrielle but I intend to get it as soon as I can (I am a student right now so have to save up). I would greatly appreciate your help with my practice though, thank you so much.

I think, if I’m brutally honest, that I have very low self esteem and am full of self doubt about myself and my abilities to ‘survive’. I have always, since a teenager, suffered from panic attacks and then in my thirties had major problems with generalised anxiety. This probably stems from when my body stopped working prior to the surgery I had (severe ulcerative colitis for several yrs and depression, anxiety etc)and I was literally at deaths door before I had major emergency surgery in my late thirties. I have tried literally everything to help with anxiety and I do think Bikram is the way forward if I can get the balance right.

To answer the end of your email, I think I breath generally pretty fine in everyday life but I have had the odd day recently when I had a tight chest and shallow breathing. It could be that I am tense and holding my breath without even realising it though. My breathing in class can get shallow and gulping if I feel overwhelmed. In my practice I feel that I’m not achieving what I would like to. Maybe that’s the ego getting in the way though! I feel like I am not able to do the asanas to my optimum potential and almost have to conserve energy to get to the end of the class. I have to sit down sometimes but try not to. Before I had surgery I used to practice Astanga vinyasa nearly everyday and was very flexible and aware of my breath etc so it can be somewhat frustrating but I try to go with it and do what I can. In the Bikram class though I often get tired very early on and it can be an ordeal to get through BUT I do feel that up until recently I did benefit afterwards.

Apologies for the length of this email and hope I didn’t ramble too much. Its so hard to try and communicate so much via email without sounding a bit whining and that is not how I want to come across ! 🙂

Thanks again Gabrielle x

[kfi2000]

#10912

Hi Denise…I hope you don’t mind me offering some observations. You clearly are struggling with a lot of things in this class (and out). I agree that there are some physical issues that need addressing, but I noticed in your comments that you tend to think a lot! I recognize this because I’m guilty of it too, and it is something that has impacted my own practice. You mention not achieving, not being optimum, etc.. These thought patterns are one aspect of anxiety, and can make the stress you feel in class worse.

I used to dread camel. And like you, I heard that this pose brings up emotions, etc. and that people can feel vulnerable. That might be true, but I eventually realized that the pose also stimulates the nervous system in a way that the heart is racing but my breath was normal….hm. This is actually not far from anxiety (although in more extreme anxiety, the breath is rapid too). Once I realized this, it just became an observation, and from then on I could get through the posture without fearing it. Whenever I catch my self thinking of what posture “is next”, I immediately focus on one spot, breathe, and clear my mind. Its not alway successful, but mostly it is. During standing series, like you, I sometimes have to sit out postures. And I feel overwhelmed. But listening to the teacher and trying to hear the words as if for the first time helps.

A good teacher asked me once, “How do you judge if you have had a good class or not?” In my early months, I would have said something like “Oh, I can balance throughout standing bow” or “I can put my head on my knee in standing-head-to-knee”…all achievement oriented goals. By the time he asked me this question, my response was, “To get through a class without sitting out a posture”. But now….my response is….”to be still”. I’ve found that with this simple shift in my practice, I have let go of a lot of those expectations and goal-oriented thoughts that were sabotaging me. One day it occurred to me….you know what? It makes no difference at ALL if I can put my head on my knee….who really cares? I realized that its not about getting my head on my knee, its about achieving that stillness of mind that allows me to get my head on my knee. if it happens, ok, if not….ok. The universe is the same. 🙂

You experience anxiety in three ways….physical (heart racing, muscle tension), affective (feelings…like the claustrophobia you mention) and cognitive (those thoughts you can’t get out of your head). My personal opinion is that Bikram yoga can be quite effective at addressing all three of these. But if you come to the class with a much higher level of anxiety to begin with, it might take a little longer to get there.

Sorry for my rambling response! I hope you find some stillness in class and in life. Namaste.

-Kristin

[namaste73]

#10914

Hi Kristin,
Thanks so much for your thoughts which were really helpful for me.

I do place a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect in postures and feel beaten when inevitably I am not. I also find it very hard to look at myself in the mirror and have to try very hard not to look around and compare myself to other students. I am getting better but its something I’m having to consciously work on!

I think because I know the class sequence so well now and know what postures are coming next the class can often feel overwhelming and too much. I didnt have this when I first started Bikram as much. Being in class often feels incredibly difficult but I do have the benefits afterwards. I an going to try and take your advice and focus on one spot and the breath and clearing my mind. If I have to sit out then I will and will try to focus on the teachers voice like you suggested. I was worried about doinf this before because once when I sat out my teacher kind of made me get back into the practice and I panicked. Know I realise she was just trying to encourage me but she realises that I have to sit down sometimes and classes can often be hard. She says that you are never too tired etc to come to class as long as you can just arrive at your matt and sit and breath and be present that is enough.

I must remember your final response to your teachers question (“How do you judge if you have had a good class or not?”),“to be still”. That really helps me more than you can imagine.

Thanks so much for taking the time to share with me. I very much appreciate it. 🙂

Thanks and Namaste Kristen,
Denise x

[mzsocialworker1]

#10915

Kristin, thanks for sharing what you did. Your words about stillness stayed with me and I incorporated them into my practice last night. The class was a struggle at times but I found myself more focused and relaxed, even when I did have to take breaks.

[kfi2000]

#10916

Wow!!! So happy for you!!!

I still struggle with this, because the class certainly is not easy. But I think that is one of the points….you can learn to be calm/still even in a stressful situation. Sometimes when I am considering sitting out a posture, I ask myself, “Is it mental?” If I can ask that question, then it IS mental and I can push through. I still have to sit out a posture once in a while, either because of room conditions or (more often) something going on with me. At those times, its obvious to me that I need a break. I believe that mental stillness is as much of a skill as the posture itself, and something to always keep working toward.

You…my dear…are amazing! Tell yourself that the next time you look at yourself in the mirror. 🙂

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